The Hardest Part of Engineering Isn’t the Code

It’s fighting the voice in your head telling you you’re not enough

I watched a junior engineer stare at her screen for three hours.

She’d hit a wall with a production bug. The kind that makes you question everything — your code, your career, maybe even your life choices. I could see it in her face: that familiar mix of frustration and defeat.

But then something shifted. Instead of shutting her laptop, she did something different.

The Moment Everything Changes

When you’re stuck — really stuck — your brain starts whispering lies.

“You’re not cut out for this.”

“Everyone else would have figured this out by now.”

”Maybe you should just give up.”

Here’s what I’ve learned after 8 years in engineering: The difference between engineers who grow and those who plateau isn’t talent. It’s what happens in that moment when quitting feels easier than continuing.

The best engineers I know have developed something I call the “next small step” mindset.

Ask One Simple Question: “What’s Next?”

When you’re overwhelmed, your brain shuts down. Everything feels impossible.

But here’s the secret: You don’t need to solve the whole problem. You just need to find the next tiny thing you can do.

That junior engineer? She stopped trying to fix the entire bug. Instead, she asked: “What’s one thing I can do in the next 10 minutes?”

Her answer: Reach out to Sarah from the database team.

Your Three Emergency Exits (That Aren’t Actually Exits)

When you’re stuck, the possibilities are endless — but here are three that work most times:

Reach up: Find a senior engineer. Not to do the work for you, but to help you think through it differently. Most seniors remember being stuck. They want to help.

Reach across: Talk to someone from a different team. Fresh eyes see patterns you’ve gone blind to. That frontend engineer might spot something the backend team missed.

Reach wide: Call a meeting. Sometimes the problem isn’t technical — it’s communication. Getting the right people in a room can untangle weeks of confusion.

The key? Each move is small. Manageable. Doable.

The Voice in Your Head Is a Liar

You will want to quit. A lot.

The voice will be loudest right before your breakthrough. It always is.

But here’s what that voice doesn’t tell you: Taking a break isn’t the same as giving up.

Go for a walk. Grab coffee. Sleep on it. Your subconscious is still working even when you step away.

The junior engineer took a 15-minute break after messaging Sarah. When she came back, Sarah had replied with a suggestion that led to the solution within an hour.

Your Superpower Is Simpler Than You Think

The “get it done” attitude isn’t about grinding through problems with pure willpower.

It’s about staying curious when you’re frustrated.

It’s about asking “What’s next?” instead of “Why me?”

It’s about remembering that every senior engineer you admire has been exactly where you are right now.

They didn’t have special powers. They just refused to let temporary confusion become permanent defeat.

The next time you hit a wall — and you will — remember this: The obstacle isn’t your enemy. It’s your teacher. And your job isn’t to be perfect. It’s to keep moving forward, one small step at a time.

I am curious to know — what’s your next small step going to be?